Double empathy: communication breakdowns go both ways
INSAR conversations now regularly include autistic perspectives on interaction barriers. The 'double empathy problem' helps explain why communication mismatches are not simply an autistic deficit.
What INSAR included
INSAR sessions increasingly feature autistic researchers and self-advocates examining the mutual misunderstandings that occur between autistic and non-autistic communicators.
The supportive research
- Milton (2012) — The Double Empathy Problem
- Crompton et al. (2020) — Neurotype Matching and Communication Success
Both lines of research suggest that communication breakdowns happen on both sides of an autistic / non-autistic interaction — not solely as a deficit on the autistic side.
What parents need to know
A nonspeaking person's outward presentation can sometimes make them appear younger, less aware, or lacking empathy when the opposite is true. Independently communicating nonspeakers frequently describe a frustrating body-brain disconnect: looping behaviors, automatized movements, or repeated phrases that do not reflect what they actually think or feel.
Bidirectional research helps explain why those mismatches so often interfere with connection — especially because stress and dysregulation tend to intensify communication breakdowns.
If you remember one thing
If two people fail to understand each other, the failure belongs to the interaction — not to one side of it.